By Danni Koko
There is never an easy way to talk about the hard times. But the truth is that I had a miscarriage, and in the days following my own experience with pregnancy loss, I was flooded with a range of emotions. In the aftermath of this experience, I channeled my feelings of both loss and hope into a poem of remembrance, Still We Feel You Near (you can read more about my story of pregnancy loss and the unexpected events that gave us comfort here).
In the days that followed my miscarriage, I talked to many other people who had gone through similar experiences, and it struck me how difficult it was to talk about loss and grieving in a culture that wants us to be happy all the time. In the absence of a formal process for grieving, friends and family struggled to know how to comfort me. That’s why I’m sharing my words with you now, and why I feel compelled to use my experience to offer compassion and comfort to families going through a similar loss.
Some friends said they wanted to do something for me or buy me a gift to comfort me, but they didn’t know what. Much of the other content out there about pregnancy loss is extremely sad, and they didn’t want to rub salt in the wound. That’s why in Still We Feel You Near I’m focused not only on owning our very raw feelings of loss, but also on taking care of ourselves. It’s important to spread the message that grief is real and normal, and that we deserve to process our grief.
I kept what I had written to myself until I felt ready to share it, and you can read the story of my pregnancy loss and how my family unexpectedly found comfort here. My hope is that opening up about this painful experience will help people to know they are not alone and to give them the freedom to talk about their own experiences with loss if they so wish.
Still We Feel You Near, a poem of remembrance and keepsake journal, offers sympathy and support to those who have experienced the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. The accompanying journal pages are interspersed with some anecdotes and writing prompts inspired by my own experiences with grief and healing.
While some grief journals are more like a scrapbook chronicling specific dates and memories, Still We Feel You Near is about allowing ourselves to acknowledge our loss and express our emotions as we journey towards healing. My hope is that it will give loved ones a space to acknowledge their loss, to reflect on their feelings, and to remember their beloved child as they journey towards a place of comfort and consolation.
You can find it here on Amazon Prime.
